Time For My Grandmother

2 days ago I was informed by my mom that my grandma's younger sister had passed away. I was not really emotionally affected by this news as I hardly knew her. However, I was worried about how this news would affect my grandma. My mom and my eldest uncle were the ones to break the news to her yesterday.

Just as I have expected, my grandma was terribly upset and shaken by the news. We were all prepared to accompany her to the funeral but she refused to go as she was not emotionally ready for it.

As I thought about this event, I somehow became emotionally disturbed too. I wondered about how I would feel if I'm at my grandma's age and having to see my loved ones around the same age group leave one by one. I would definitely feel lonely and scared at the same time.

This made me realize that I should spend more time with her while I still can. Some people may think old people are naggy and troublesome. But ask yourself this, "Will I be happier if they were gone?". My answer to myself is NO!

I've seen many people who cried their hearts out during funerals regretting about not spending enough time with the deceased and not treating them better. I ask myself this every time, "Did I spend enough quality time with my loved ones, especially the elderly?". 

Our grandparents and parents had spent most of their time with us. But most of us are so reluctant to spend even 5 minutes of our time with them. We as children and grandchildren tend to be impatient with the elderly because we find them talking or nagging too much. So, we snap easily and tried to allocate face time only during festive celebrations (not more than 5 times a year?).

In our current time, we spend most of our time with our gadgets (laptop, smart phones, tablets, playstation, Xbox..etc). I've even seen people sitting in the restaurant, instead of talking with each other while enjoying dinner, they were busy eating while enjoying their gadgets. What made these gadgets become more important than our elderly loved ones?

One of my cousin complained to me about not being able to agree with her father and almost every conversation ends up in a bicker. I may not be right but this is what I told her, "Our parents are getting old and we may not be agreeable with everything that they say. Instead of talking back and hurting their feelings, why not just keep quiet and just let the words pass through from ear to ear? Do you rather have them out of your life permanently? ".

Before I end this post, I would like to share a story with you that touched my heart.

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A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in- law, and four-year old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table, but the elderly grandfather’ s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in- law became irritated with the mess. “We must do something about Grandfather, ” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” Therefore, the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.

There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?”

Just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’ s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days, he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb.

If they see us patiently, provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child’s future. Let us be wise builders and role models.

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Why wait until it's too late? 5 minutes may mean nothing to you but it may mean the whole world to them.

Stress Management

I read this somewhere and I'm just sharing it here again.

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How heavy is this glass of water?

The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you have to hold it.

• If you hold it for 1 minute, it would not really be a problem.
• If you hold it for 1 hour, you will be having an ache in your arm.
• If you hold it for 1 day, you will have to call for an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes. And this applies the same with stress. The longer you carry the burden, the heavier it becomes and soon it would be impossible to carry.

As with the glass of water, we have to put it down and rest for a while before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can continue holding up that glass of water.

So whatever burdens you are carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. So, my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up until you've rested for a while.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet just in case you have to eat them.

Always wear stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

You may be the only person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

We could learn a lot from crayons...some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Why We Should Go Home On Time

The following article is not written by me but was shared with me by my cousin. I'm sharing it here for the benefit of others.

I used to be one of those who worked long hours. That's because my job requires me to do so and secondly is because my ex-boss finds it disturbing if her subordinates leave the office before she does. And what did I get from working late? Nothing. It only caused me to be tired most of the time, stressed out and have lesser time for my family. I was rewarded with the ultimate prize of hormone imbalance. Was it worth it jeopardizing my own health for work? Definitely not!

Journal : Why We Should Go Home On Time

Mr. Narayana Murthy is undoubtedly one of the most famous persons from Karnataka. He is known not just for building the biggest IT Empire in India but also for his simplicity. Almost every important dignitary visits InfoSys campus. He delivered an interesting speech during an employee session with another IT company in India. He is incidentally, one of the top 50 influential people of Asia according to an Asiaweek publication and also the new IT Advisor to the Thailand Prime Minister.

Extract of Mr. Narayana Murthy's Speech during Mentor Session:

I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I do not know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are addicted to the workplace.

Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long hours over the long term is harmful to the person and to the organization. There are things managers can do to change this for everyone's benefit. Being in the office long hours, over long periods of time, makes way for potential errors.

My colleagues who are in the office long hours frequently make mistakes caused by fatigue. Correcting these mistakes requires their time as well as the time and energy of others. I have seen people work Tuesday through Friday to correct mistakes made after 5 PM on Monday.

Another problem is that people who are in the office long hours are not pleasant company. They often complain about other people (who are not working as hard); they are irritable, or cranky, or even angry. Other people avoid them. Such behaviour poses problems, where work goes much better when people work together instead of avoiding one another.

As Managers, there are things we can do to help people leave the office. First and foremost is to set the example and go home ourselves. I work with a manager who chides people for working long hours. His words quickly lose their meaning when he sends these chiding group e-mails with a time-stamp of 2 AM, Sunday.

Second is to encourage people to put some balance in their lives. For instance, here is a guideline I find helpful:

1. Wake up, eat a good breakfast, and go to work.

2. Work hard and smart for eight or nine hours.

3. Go home.

4. Read the books/comics, watch a funny movie, dig in the dirt, play with your kids, etc.

5. Eat well and sleep well.

This is called recreating. Doing steps 1, 3, 4, and 5 enable step 2. Working regular hours and recreating daily are simple concepts. They are hard for some of us because that requires 'personal change'. They are possible since we all have the power to choose to do them.

In considering the issue of overtime, I am reminded of my oldest son. When he was a toddler, if people were visiting the apartment, he would not fall asleep no matter how long the visit was, and no matter what time of day it was. He would fight off sleep until the visitors left. It was as if he was afraid that he would miss some thing. Once our visitors' left, he would go to sleep. By this time, however, he was over tired and would scream through half the night with nightmares. He, my wife, and I, all paid the price for his fear of missing out.

Perhaps some people put in such long hours because they do not want to miss anything when they leave the office. The trouble with this is that events will never stop happening. That is life! Things happen 24 hours a day. Allowing for little rest is not ultimately practical. So, take a nap. Things will happen while you are asleep, but you will have the energy to catch up when you wake.

My Name Is Khan

I've just watched the movie - MY NAME IS KHAN. I would recommend everyone, and I really mean EVERYONE to watch it.

No, it's not a James Bond wannabe movie. And NO, it's not just another Sharukh Khan movie and surprisingly it's NOT one of those typical Hindi movie filled with lovey dovey stuff, singing and dancing. I find it very moving and inspiring.

I think that this is a very important film that people need to see. It shows one must not stigmatise a culture just because of the actions of a few. The events of 9/11 were horrific but the racism which followed only added to the hate.

Put your movie preference aside for a moment and just give this movie a chance. Watch it with an open mind. Don't shove it aside because it's a Hindi movie or because you don't like the actor or actress. It's not about who's acting, who's directing and the creativity of this movie. It's the meaning and the learning found within are the ones I found most inspiring.

Watch the whole movie first, THEN tell me what you think about it.

No Arms, No Legs, No Worries

My brother-in-law shared this video on my Facebook Wall and it sort of got me thinking. Most of us tend to spend a lot of time complaining about how imperfect we look...too fat, too thin, not muscular enough, not tall enough, eyes too small...etc. This guy in the video is in a worst condition than most of us but instead of complaining, he's appreciating life and making the most out of it.

Always remember...

You are beautiful just the way you are.

Heaven's Grocery Store

I was walking down life's highway a long, long time ago.
One day I saw a sign that read,
"HEAVEN'S GROCERY STORE."
As I got a little closer, the door opened wide,
and I found myself standing inside.

I saw a host of angels, they were standing everywhere.
One handed me a basket and said, "My Child, shop with care."

Everything a human needed was in that grocery store.
And if you couldn't carry it all, you could come back the next day for more.

First, I got some PATIENCE, LOVE was in the same row.
Further down was UNDERSTANDING, you need that everywhere you go.

I got a box or two of WISDOM, a bag or two of FAITH.
I just couldn't miss the HOLY SPIRIT, for it was all over the place.

I stopped to get some STRENGTH and COURAGE to help me run the race.
By then my basket was getting full, but I remembered I needed some GRACE.

I didn't forget SALVATION, for SALVATION was free.
So I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.

Then I started up to the counter to pay my grocery bill.
For I thought I had everything to do the MASTER'S will.

As I went up the aisle, I saw PRAYER; and I just had to put that in,
for I knew when I stepped outside, I would run into sin.

PEACE and JOY were plentiful; they were last on the shelf.
SONG and PRAISE were hanging near, so I just helped myself.

Then I said to the angel, "Now, how much do I owe?"
He smiled again and said, "MY CHILD, JESUS PAID YOUR BILL A LONG, LONG TIME AGO."

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