I'm Devastated!!

I went for a hormone test few days ago (due to my irregular menstrual cycle for the past one year) and got my results today. The results I received shocked me and almost killed me. I was not ready to hear what the doctor had to say. When the doctor explained to me my test results and what I have to do next, I was actually sitting there listening to him in a state of shock.

Only when I walked out of the clinic and into my car did I realize what the doctor had said. As my mom was so anxious to know the results, I called her first. When she answered the phone, that's when I broke down and cry.

They actually tested 6 types of hormone. 4 out of 6 was normal and 2 was found exceptionally high. And these 2 are the LH and Estradiol hormone. The high level of LH is the one causing the irregular menstrual cycle. It may also cause Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. That's why the doctor advised me to visit the gynea to have some scanning done. The high level of Estradiol puts me at risk of endometrial cancer, stroke and breast cancer.

These 2 problems  = INFERTILITY. Because of these 2 abnormal hormones, I was told that I would not be able to conceive normally. If I want to conceive, my current options are taking an injection to get my eggs released before "project B" and going for IVF which would caused me not less than RM13k-14k each attempt.

At this point of time, I'm feeling exactly how I felt when my doctor told me that my baby had stop growing and it's heart is no longer beating. I'm going through the same pain all over again. So many questions went through my mind at this point of time...so many what ifs.

...What if I cannot conceive at all??

...What if my husband is disappointed??

...What if I'm having early menopause??

...What if I have cancer??

It's so scary and emotionally painful at the same time. Why me? What have I done to deserve this? Why can't I be normal like everyone else? Why? Now I'm afraid to visit the gynea because I just don't know what to expect. Should I go expecting the worst or should I go and hope for the best?

During times like this, I really wish I have someone other than my husband to share my pain and worries with me.

The Rice Dumpling Festival 2010

Happy Rice Dumpling Festival to everyone out there!!

The Rice Dumpling Festival (Duan Wu Festival) is a widely celebrated festival amongst the Chinese community. Days or even weeks before this festival, you'll see more of these Rice Dumplings being sold everywhere especially places with higher Chinese population. These Rice Dumplings comes in a few shapes (usually in the shape of a pyramid), sizes and in many different types of fillings.

The origins of Rice Dumplings are traced to the legend of Quan Yu, a famous Chinese poet. The legend involves a really long and complicated throne-fighting war and political history. But to make the long story short: Qu Yuan was also an important minister back in Chu Kingdom in ancient China. Known for his patriotism, Qu Yuan tried unsuccessfully to warn his king and countrymen against the expansionism of their Qin neighbors. However, His Majesty had not taken Qu Yuan's advice seriously, and he eventually got himself trapped and captured in a foreign land by his enemies, which then lead to his own death.

Sad and angry at the corrupted, dying Kingdom, Qu Yuan tied himself to a big rock and threw himself into the Miluo River. According to legend, the people then made rice dumplings wrapped in bamboo leaves and threw them into the river. They believed this would stop the fish from eating Qu Yuan's body. Some would even row down stream in a boat, beating drums and shouting out loud in the hope to scare the fish away (it was believed that it is how the Dragon Boat event is related to the festival.

Since then, the 5th day of the 5th month in the Chinese calendar has been set as Duan Wu Festival to remember the incident. Another version of the legend states that the dumplings were made to placate a dragon that lived in the river.

- Qu Yuan -
However, I do not understand the Chinese
characters written in the picture.

The Rice Dumplings are glutinous rice wrapped in bamboo leaves. However, the leaves of lotus, maize, banana, canna, shell ginger or pandan leaves are sometimes used as substitutes in other countries. Each kind of leaf imparts its own unique smell and flavor to the rice.

The fillings for the dumplings vary from region to region. Fillings may be sweet, such as mashed yellow beans, or savory, and may include pork, sausages, Chinese mushrooms, salted egg, and chestnuts. Some types of Rice Dumpling contains no filling at all, in which case they are usually eaten with sugar or syrup.

Wrapping a dumpling neatly is a skill which is passed down through families, as are the Chinese recipes. Dumpling-making is usually a family event with everyone helping out.

The dumplings need to be steamed or boiled for several hours and one superstition says that dumplings will never cook if a pregnant woman enters the kitchen whilst they are being steamed. Dumplings may also be frozen for later consumption, but must be boiled instead of steamed when stored in this fashion. The salty Rice Dumpling is easy to cook when compared to the most difficult and hardest Rice Dumpling, the red bean (sweet). The red bean Rice Dumpling takes many hours to prepare. The red bean used to make the filling must be slowly cooked and simmered for at least 12 hours to turn the hard beans into a soft sweet paste. Disruption of any kind in the cooking process will end up producing in a Rice Dumpling that is sub par.

I personally do not know how to make them but love to eat them...only the savoury ones though. My favourite would be the simple Rice Dumplings with fillings containing green or yellow beans, pork, salted egg and chinese black mushroom. I'm not sure whether a family Rice Dumpling recipe is available within my family and that's simply because I've never seen my mother nor grandmas making any. However, my mother in-law makes them every year for this festival and I love the ones made by my brother's mom. They are simply DELICIOUS and I'll be having some tomorrow, yeah!

****************************************************************
Today, I had 2 super delicious Rice Dumplings made by my brother's mom for dinner. I was told that someone offered to buy the last four from her but she turned it down simply because it was saved up specially for me and my husband, Ken. Thank you so much!

Homemade Rice Dumplings - SUPER YUMMY!

The fillings were simply heavenly!

This is a once a year occassion and it's too bad that I only get to eat this once a year. 

Data, data Go Away!

Today's not exactly a fun day at work. I almost snapped today. Maybe it's because my analysis had been  staring at me for the past 3 weeks and it's inducing so much pressure on me.

First of all, creating that analysis was a nightmare mainly because all the information comes in bits and pieces from all over the place. I had to pick them up one by one and place them in a common spreadsheet before I can start to analyse it. There are so many information to gather but so little time and limited resources.

After assembling the big picture, I had to go line by line to analyse details of 47 people. The worst part of it all was that I had to recommend the group of people who are not performing and decides who should leave. My heart almost dropped onto the floor when I'm asked to submit the list. To me, I just think it's not fair to make such recommendation when I've only met them once.

So during a discussion today after the meeting with the "Top Man", my colleague and I came to a disagreement and got ourselves frustrated with the information staring at us from my laptop screen. It's not that we fought or anything, but I think I raised my voice a little out of frustration and my colleague was not happy about it.

That's when I decided to pack my things up and go home (it's already 6.30pm then). I've also decided that I'm not going to look nor think about it till tomorrow. My mind seriously needs a break! I've been having those data on my mind...even when I'm sleeping and it's stressing me out.

As soon as I finish publishing this post, I think I'll retire to bed early (it's 8.26pm now). I hope I'll have a clearer mind tomorrow so that I could see a clearer picture and know what I'm suppose to do.

So, good night everyone...!!!

Males Are More Colourful???

Today during a drive out for lunch with a few colleagues, the topic of discussion was male and female animals. It started when my guy colleague showed us his family photo taken with a python. Then he went on talking about a white tiger being available for photo session as well.

Then the conversation went like this:
 Pat : Was the tiger a male or a female?

Daniel : I'm not sure coz I didn't check underneath the skirt.

Me : *Laugh* I think lions are easier to differentiate. Did you know that in the bird kingdom, you can tell the males from the females by looking at their colours?

Pat & Daniel : How is that?

Me : The males are more colourful and in a way better looking than the females. Just take these few birds for an example...

Peacock

Mandarin Ducks

Ostrich

Turkey

Pat : That's so unfair!! Why does the males have to be the more attractive one when the females are so dull and ugly looking??

Me : Coz the males need to fight with other males to get the females attention.

Daniel : Then how about crows??? How can you tell the male from the female?

Me:

Me : Emmmm.... Maybe the male crows are blacker???

OTHERS:
 




Then, later I found the right answer.

But if you were caught with this question, what would your answer be? I know you can easily find the answer in the wonderful world wide web...but I just want to know the first answer that comes to your mind.

Girl Dies Because BHP Attendants Refused To Help

On Thursday, 4 June 2010, my Facebook Wall was flooded with the following article (exact words from the article originated from Teo Chai Yong):

 Related articles:
The Star - Article 1 / The Star - Article 2 / The Star - Article 3
MSN News / Photo Link

The whole accident was very tragic and it's a very heated topic among the online community.

I don't understand why the BHP managment is trying so hard to defend the 2 BHP attendant. They even gave stupid comments like:

"...according to company procedure, the fire extinguishers were only for station use."

"...the attendants had refused to open doors because robberies were common at that hour."

How much does a fire extinguisher cost that a company have to be selfish and stingy on life saving equipments like that? You can't even spare one for emergency cases as such? The company will go bankrupt if one fire extinguisher is lost?

If the attendants were concerned but yet afraid that they might get robbed, why can't they ask this Mr Teo to step a few feet away from the glass door and quickly place one fire extinguisher right outside the door before re-locking the door? I think they just couldn't care less simply because they are not the victims of the accident. They even mentioned that they did not open the door because he did not acted calmly. Hello??? This is a panic situation and you're expecting this Mr Teo to smile, say please and talk slowly??? If that's what he did, then I won't blame you for being suspicious.

Commenting without thinking or even considering other people's feelings is just unacceptable. Now that one life is lost and all you could say is that you're sorry?

I discussed this accident with one of my friend and his comment was that if he was in Mr Teo's position, he would just rammed his car through the glass door, grab the fire extinguisher, save the life first and all else comes later.

I'm sure the witnesses of this accident will have a hard time forgetting the face of the burnt victim and her cries for help while being burned alive that eventually fades off.

At this point everyone has their what ifs, why didn't this and why didn't that...and that everyone includes myself. It is very sad that one young life is lost in such manner and there's nothing that anyone could do now to bring her back.

My heartfelt condolences goes out to the family and friends of the deceased.

Moving forward, every car should have one fire extinguisher. Some say that the government should make it compulsory under the law but I think car makers or dealers should include a small fire extinguisher as part of the emergency kit. What do you think?

It's better to have it when we need it. We may not be using it to save our own lives but we may be able to save others.